On being "alright"
In the eyes of the people of today, he's "alright". He's told me about most of his problems. From his point of view, his problems are financial problems… and of course… it's his father's fault. His father doesn't give him any money, says he's a lost cause. Like many people, he sought the illusion of "independence" by moving out when he was 19. I wouldn't move out; not unless I was getting married; other than that, I'd rather stay home and take care of my aging parents. It's the least that my parents deserve. الحمدلله Yesterday that guy was telling me that he wants to buy a new car and that he's going to need to apply for a loan if there's any chance he's going to afford it. That was when I asked him to describe his day-to-day flow for me. He said that he's stopped committing adultery and drinking alcohol. He uses weed every now and then. He talks like he's been resurrected, repented, like he deserves heaven and beyond. When he describes how he lived his life with the sex and the drinks and the drugs, he often uses the term زي أي شاب (like every other fella). The problem is that this has become the norm in our society. Perhaps the alcohol and the sex can make us feel good for a while, but that's only illusive. Maybe it's because we can feel pleasure, but we can feel the truth. We can see a hot chick, but we can't see God. لا اله الاّ أنت سبحانك اني كنت من الظالمين I never said that I was a good Muslim. I'm far from that. But when it comes to giving advice when a person can, I believe that one should. I told him that one shouldn't claim that he's found truth, not unless he wants to. One can't say 'I'll get better. I've already stopped drinking'. People who say that usually go back to doing every sin they ever did and more. I told him about my mom's friend's son. He was another cliché of "like ever other fella". He didn't pray, performed certain sins, and took life for granted. He knew two different kinds of friends though. He knew those who attended lectures at mosques after prayer and did what God created them to do… and he also knew other friends who did what he did. They went places, did things… like… every other fella. In the eyes of the people of today, they're "cool". Cool is attitude, I'd say; not acts. In the end, when we die, none of that would matter though. Anyways, so my mom's friend's son met his "religious" friends around his block who told him that they're going to attend a lecture, if he wants to join them. He says no and calls up his other friends who were all busy that day, so he decided to go to the lecture. He did, and then he headed back home and started praying and praying. His mother to pray Al Fajr (Dawn prayer) and finds him praying in his room, so she figured she'd get ready for prayer then they could pray together. When she went back to call him over, she found him in al-sojood position (during prayer). She waited, but he didn't move. He was dead. Allah waited for him to repent his sins. يا سبحان الله اللهم بعلمك الغيب و قدرتك على الخلق أحيني ما زالت الحياة خيرا لي و توفّني اذا كانت الوفاة خيرا لي When I went to perform Hajj late in December and I first laid my eyes on al Ka'aba, I felt as if I've been taking life for granted for so long and God never punished me for it. He was waiting for me to repent. Could someone ever be so kind? That's Allah. At the end of the story, my work buddy was standing there, giving me that look… the look that says Please don't tell me that kind of shit. Don't be so uptight. اللَّهُ نَزَّلَ أَحْسَنَ الْحَدِيثِ كِتَاباً مُّتَشَابِهاً مَّثَانِيَ تَقْشَعِرُّ مِنْهُ جُلُودُ الَّذِينَ يَخْشَوْنَ رَبَّهُمْ ثُمَّ تَلِينُ جُلُودُهُمْ وَقُلُوبُهُمْ إِلَى ذِكْرِ اللَّهِ ذَلِكَ هُدَى اللَّهِ يَهْدِي بِهِ مَنْ يَشَاءُ وَمَن يُضْلِلْ اللَّهُ فَمَا لَهُ مِنْ هَادٍ Az-Zumar, Chapter #39, Verse #23 Allah has revealed the best announcement, a book conformable in its various parts, repeating, whereat do shudder the skins of those who fear their Lord, then their skins and their hearts become pliant to the remembrance of Allah; this is Allah's guidance, He guides with it whom He pleases; and (as for) him whom Allah makes err, there is no guide for him. اللهم انّي أسألك فعل الخيرات و ترك المنكرات و حب المساكين و ان تغفر لي و ترحمني و اذا أردت بعبادك فتنة فتوفّني اليك منها غير مفتون. آميــن
There's this guy at work whose desk is right next to mine. Out jobs are different, but we keep each other company when it gets cold and boring. Like every other fella, he's got problems; too many problems though. He does it all. He lies to everybody he knows, he doesn't pray, he doesn't talk to his father unless he wants money, he drinks alcohol that led him into wrecking two new cars in less than six months. He's lucky he's still alive. He also commits adultery. The good news is that he's half British, he's funny, and he almost does the job assigned to him at work.
I cried there. I've been so lost.
Was that him looking back at me or was it someone else, something else?
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