In January 2007 I made a promise to document everything about my Hajj (pilgrimage) 2006-2007 trip. My plan was to do it in a novella fashion because I had a lot of theories, comments, and future plans to write about. Why should I write about something that a zillion others have written about before? I would never be able to fully grasp the entire Hajj perspective in one post. Time, as always, was not my friend. It took me five months to write 40 pages right before my computer crashed erasing everything stored in My Documents folder and ever since then I've been hesitant about re-writing it.

To be inspired is one of the things that we, generations of today, need to find in order to proceed with our existence. But to be inspired religiously… that’s something else.

I need to write this for you. I need to remind myself that I could still be a better person, the person I was around the turn of the year.

I’ve come across many people, good people, who said that they weren’t ready to perform Hajj, that they’re not in a point in their lives where they could actually step towards Allah SWT and ask for forgiveness. To those people I say ‘I wasn’t ready either’. I’ve been delaying Hajj since 2002. My excuse was… I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to repent. I knew that I must change once I go there. Delaying it is so wrong. One never knows when he/she will die. To live a life that is totally directed at pleasing Allah SWT is the ultimate destiny. Climbing Everest will not make you a better man. If you’re living the way Allah wants us to live, why are you afraid? Why do you fear going to Baytullah? Why do you fear facing your sins, begging for forgiveness?

And so I decided to write the following brief points that I think might benefit whoever gets the ultimate opportunity to perform Hajj, the most beautifully reviving rokn.

Arafat

Sob7an Allah there is something about that place. The fact that as you get to sit there for do3a2 and tafakkor is one of the many signs of mercy bestowed upon us by Allah SWT. You get to remember each and every sin you've ever committed. I was told that I should beware of Al Shaytan when I’m over there for he tries so hard to ruin Arafa for pilgrims… and I must pass that same advice to you.

I was told by a colleague of mine that Al shaytan lurks there. Mafeesh 7ad la beysally wala beyed3y. El nas sob7an Allah are either sleeping, eating, or talking about omoor el donya. I was prepared based on that. As soon as I woke up that morning, I grabbed a chair and sat outside the camp, away from the other people who were with me at the camp, with my small bag that contained my small Quran and do3a2 books. I prayed for myself, my family, my friends, and my colleagues at work. Sob7an Allah... I kept feeling sleepy and dizzy all day. I drank around ten cups of tea and four coffee cups. Wallahy wallahy al shaytan tries to distract you by chit-chats, food (they served us shrimps for God’s sake.), and eyelids heavy as the world. Al 7amdulella I didn't sleep for a second. W sob7an Allah the more you pray, the more sins you remember. الحمدلله على نعمة الاستغفار

الحمدلله على نعمة المغفرة

I remember my father was absolutely shocked when he asked the guys at the camp, ‘So when will we be heading to Arafat?’… Then they said ‘Well, we are at Arafat khalas’. ‘Tab we'll gabal?’ la2 howa keda... I grabbed my cousin and my father and off we went to jabal Arafat... It was awfully crowded so we just stood next to it for a couple minutes, prayed, then left back to the camp.

Al Mozdalefa

It took us forever to get to Al Mozdalefa. That’s the place where you collect the stones for the stoning of Al Jamarat. Getting there is not easy and even though you’re sitting in an air conditioned bus, it gets frustrating. My advice to you is, forget about the road, the driver. Don’t look out the window. Just grab a Quran and read. It’ll take away all your worries.

We had to park the bus in the middle of the road near the end of Mozdalefa to collect our stones. We couldn’t find any other spot to park the vehicle. And so I got off the bus with my little torch and headed towards a cliff to collect stones for me and both my parents who were with me on the trip. Now what happened next is beyond any reason known to man. سبحان اللهSomethings can not be explained. Now here’s what happened. Wallahy wallahy stones appeared out of nowhere. I dropped to my knees and started picking the stones out. Once I gathered all stones at a certain area and face some other direction to look for others, when I looked back there’d be more stones to pick from. Sob7an Allah I’m sure that I emptied that spot out, but there’d be more and more a moment later. فعلا... يقول الله كن فيكون

Al Jamarat

KSA did a great job by constructing several routes for the stoning. The whole thing is very organized. There’s even a schedule for every country to follow. Since we, Egyptians, are a superior race, we do not abide to any schedules. The original plan is for each country to be divided into groups. Group A gets to march together in order, stand in line in front of each Jamara, go throw their stones in order, then move over to the next Jamara. The Turks were scary, I must say. They’d follow all the rules, then at the last moment they run, stepping on all that comes in their way, to throw their stones at the Jamara. I swear they looked as if they actually thought they were trying to kill the devil himself. ربنا يتقبل They looked too sincere.

The first time I went alone. To be honest, I was a bit scared. Scared of being crushed in the crowds, of not knowing what to do, or of not having enough stones… I don’t know. But here’s my advice: 1. Go at around 3:30 am (The setting is amaaazing). 2. Avoid crowds. No rush. 3. Count like you’re in kindergarten. I swear I kept messing up on counts every time I threw. Was it the devil messing up my head walla just me being a bit shaky… I don’t know. I’m just glad I had enough stones to throw the Jamara till eternity.

On my way back to the camp after the final throwing, I felt that I was a new man. The relief, the clean slate, the soul liberation, everything… undescribable. If you ask me I’d say that Hajj is not a fardh, it’s a ne3ma.

الحمدلله

The second stoning I did with my sister, her two year old daughter, and my brother-in-law. I got to see my niece throw her first stone. :)

I know that I have slipped into Donya once or twice after I got back from Hajj, but I still have the memory of that man with me to remind me every time there’s a chance for sinning revolving around me.

Another piece of advice for men: You know that seamless cloth that you wear for Hajj (Bashkeer or whatever)? Buy two to wear on top of each other. It gets cold down there at Mena and you wouldn’t want the cold to be something to worry about.

Useful tips

1. I performed all tawaf from the roof. It’s beautiful from up there. It’s less crowded so it’s excellent if your wife, children, or parents are with you and you can sit by the fence so you can see Al Kaaba while praying.

2. I didn’t like the fact that, when women were sitting in the front row, some dude would come out of nowhere and ask them to sit way back. If they ask me, I’d say that the guy sitting behind her should be the one leaving his spot. Oh well… nothing’s perfect when it’s human I guess.

3. Try and get a copy of الورد المصفّى المختار. It’s beautiful and it’s sold in almost every bookshop around the Haram. I must have read it like 30 times on my 18 day trip. It says everything a person would want to pray for.

4. I don’t think that I need to remind you not to buy anything except food once you’ve performed 7ijjat Al Wada’a.

5. Since my parents were unable to perform tawaf on their own they had to get wheel chairs pushed by some young kids working at the Haram. I learned later that you can get those chairs from someplace keda downstairs, but you have to register in advance or whatever. I never got the system. So we’d hire those kids to push both my parents we khalas. They’re overpriced though. I don’t think I can remember how much I paid, but I think it was 100-300 Saudi Riyals depending on when they were hired. Tell your parents not to be embarrassed to ask them to walk slowly cos most of them tend to run it like it’s a sporting event.

On the last day at Makka, we couldn’t find them. My father decided to perform Tawaf Al Wadaa by himself. My mother couldn’t so now I had to go look for a wheelchair. Sob7an Allah the moment I walked towards an escalator I found one parked right next to it. I asked the guard if it belonged to anyone and he said that he didn’t know and that I could use it if I wanted to. (The guards are usually very helpful if you learn how to follow the system. Most troublemakers were Egyptians who still believed that other Arabs still ride camels.)

And so… I used the chair and pushed my mother through the tawaf. It was beautiful.

الحمدلله

6. Infections. Now that’s something you gotta be prepared to face. Sob7an Allah I felt like my body kept pushing away the virus in fear that I wouldn’t be able to perform the Hajj duties for the three of us. I kept resisting until the final day when I performed the final stoning. Right there and then… I breathed in all the virus in the world. I did not care anymore. I was done. :)

Make sure you pack all required medications before you leave. Toilet paper is a must. Toilet seat protection (whatever they call it) is a must. Panadol Cold & Flu (the green one) is useful. We couldn’t find it over there.

7.If you’re gonna buy a galabeyya aka deshdasha from there, make sure you ask the dude if the material isn’t transparent. Yes, there are cheap ones over there.

8.لا جدال لا جدال لا جدال . YOU MUST REMEMBER THAT.

9. Speaking of clothes… they sell excellent clothes fel Madina.

10. It gets very, very crowded before and after prayer. So make sure you get there at least 30 mins before prayer and only leave 30 mins after.

11. Make sure your slippers are the exact fit of your feet. Things get kinda loose when you’re stuck in a crowd and someone could accidentally trip you over by stepping on your slipper.

12. If you find yourself at a crowded area, make sure your mother or wife are in front of you and put your hands around them to push away anybody who feels the need to push (There are many of those).

13. I’d hate to say this, but the guys from Southern African countries really know how to punch and push. At one point they totally pushed my mother to the ground. They do that at tawaf and they usually gang up against others. Bottom line… avoid them, Turks, and Malaysian women.

14. If you get a chance to leave your praying carpet and go to get a Zamzam water cup at Al Haram, make sure you bring the guy sitting next to you a cup. The look on their face leaves a mark on your soul wallahy. It also got me to know three people. One Algerian who kept telling me how much he wishes to live in Egypt and study at Al Azhar (if only he knew), one guy from Cameron who works at the WHO, and another Iranian fellow whom we still email from time to time.

15. All things put aside, I will never forget that South African woman whom I overheard while she stared at the Ka’aba saying ‘La ilaha illa Allah’.

The group from Azerbaijan hugging and kissing each other in congratulation for completing Hajj right after their tawaf al wada’a, the groups from Australia, the US, the UK, and the two guys from Denmark… they all got me to thinking…

هل حسابنا حيكون زي حسابهم؟

ربنا يتقبل منّا و منكم و منهم ان شاء الله

If you have any questions regarding Hajj, please don’t hesitate to contact me @ ragin.raven@gmail.com

Labels: Hadeeth, Muhammad

In the eyes of the people of today, he's "alright".

He's told me about most of his problems. From his point of view, his problems are financial problems… and of course… it's his father's fault. His father doesn't give him any money, says he's a lost cause. Like many people, he sought the illusion of "independence" by moving out when he was 19. I wouldn't move out; not unless I was getting married; other than that, I'd rather stay home and take care of my aging parents. It's the least that my parents deserve. الحمدلله

Yesterday that guy was telling me that he wants to buy a new car and that he's going to need to apply for a loan if there's any chance he's going to afford it. That was when I asked him to describe his day-to-day flow for me. He said that he's stopped committing adultery and drinking alcohol. He uses weed every now and then. He talks like he's been resurrected, repented, like he deserves heaven and beyond.

When he describes how he lived his life with the sex and the drinks and the drugs, he often uses the term زي أي شاب (like every other fella). The problem is that this has become the norm in our society. Perhaps the alcohol and the sex can make us feel good for a while, but that's only illusive. Maybe it's because we can feel pleasure, but we can feel the truth. We can see a hot chick, but we can't see God.

لا اله الاّ أنت سبحانك اني كنت من الظالمين

I never said that I was a good Muslim. I'm far from that. But when it comes to giving advice when a person can, I believe that one should. I told him that one shouldn't claim that he's found truth, not unless he wants to. One can't say 'I'll get better. I've already stopped drinking'. People who say that usually go back to doing every sin they ever did and more.

I told him about my mom's friend's son. He was another cliché of "like ever other fella". He didn't pray, performed certain sins, and took life for granted. He knew two different kinds of friends though. He knew those who attended lectures at mosques after prayer and did what God created them to do… and he also knew other friends who did what he did. They went places, did things… like… every other fella. In the eyes of the people of today, they're "cool".

Cool is attitude, I'd say; not acts. In the end, when we die, none of that would matter though.

Anyways, so my mom's friend's son met his "religious" friends around his block who told him that they're going to attend a lecture, if he wants to join them. He says no and calls up his other friends who were all busy that day, so he decided to go to the lecture. He did, and then he headed back home and started praying and praying. His mother to pray Al Fajr (Dawn prayer) and finds him praying in his room, so she figured she'd get ready for prayer then they could pray together. When she went back to call him over, she found him in al-sojood position (during prayer). She waited, but he didn't move. He was dead. Allah waited for him to repent his sins. يا سبحان الله

اللهم بعلمك الغيب و قدرتك على الخلق أحيني ما زالت الحياة خيرا لي و توفّني اذا كانت الوفاة خيرا لي

When I went to perform Hajj late in December and I first laid my eyes on al Ka'aba, I felt as if I've been taking life for granted for so long and God never punished me for it. He was waiting for me to repent. Could someone ever be so kind? That's Allah.
I cried there. I've been so lost.

At the end of the story, my work buddy was standing there, giving me that look… the look that says Please don't tell me that kind of shit. Don't be so uptight.
Was that him looking back at me or was it someone else, something else?
تهدي من تشاء

اللهم اني أسألك رحمة من عندك تهدي بها قلبي و تجمع بها أمري و تلم بها شعثي و تخفظ بها غائبي و ترفع بها شاهدي و تبيّض بها وجهي و تزكّي بها عملي و تلهمني بها رشدي و تردّ بها ألفتي و تعصمني بها من كل سوء.

اللَّهُ نَزَّلَ أَحْسَنَ الْحَدِيثِ كِتَاباً مُّتَشَابِهاً مَّثَانِيَ تَقْشَعِرُّ مِنْهُ جُلُودُ الَّذِينَ يَخْشَوْنَ رَبَّهُمْ ثُمَّ تَلِينُ جُلُودُهُمْ وَقُلُوبُهُمْ إِلَى ذِكْرِ اللَّهِ ذَلِكَ هُدَى اللَّهِ يَهْدِي بِهِ مَنْ يَشَاءُ وَمَن يُضْلِلْ اللَّهُ فَمَا لَهُ مِنْ هَادٍ

Az-Zumar, Chapter #39, Verse #23

Allah has revealed the best announcement, a book conformable in its various parts, repeating, whereat do shudder the skins of those who fear their Lord, then their skins and their hearts become pliant to the remembrance of Allah; this is Allah's guidance, He guides with it whom He pleases; and (as for) him whom Allah makes err, there is no guide for him.

اللهم انّي أسألك فعل الخيرات و ترك المنكرات و حب المساكين و ان تغفر لي و ترحمني و اذا أردت بعبادك فتنة فتوفّني اليك منها غير مفتون.

آميــن

Labels: Hajj, Prayer

I leaned later from the bus driver, as he drove away from it, that that was Jabal O7od (Mount Ohod). It's located in Al Madina Al Monawwara, KSA, for those of you who haven’t heard of it before; and no, it's not the one in the picture. I still remember how I felt when I first saw it on my last trip there. I was there before back when I was 10, but then again when you're that young you haven't been exposed to the adult life aka Al Donya. When you're that young, the devil hasn't been able to get to you yet, to make you believe that this is it… this life is yours for the taking.

Yeah well… don't we all love to hear that?

We are adults now aren't we, all mighty in our own deceiving eyes, all welcomed to Al Donya?

I still remember every bit of it… that big mountain. They say that from above, the mountain shapes the word Muhammad in Arabic… I've read about things with the words Allah and Muhammad shaped on them a thousand times. The fish, the tomato, the tree… I've seen them all… in jpg format. But it does so happen that once you actually see something like that with your own eyes, you’d want to keep it forever. That tangerine had to be eaten though or disposed of unfortunately. I did take a picture of it, but what was almost a miracle has now become another jpg file.

On the road from Al Madina to Jeddah, where the airport I took off from is located, all you can see is one black mountain after the next. So black and humble, yet so beautiful. سبحان الله

The one thought that hit me then was a question: How can people in Europe and the Americas, where the most beautiful sceneries in the world are located, still doubt the existence of God? أفلا يتفكرون

Allah said in the Quran that mountainsالرواسي و الجبال are created to set an example to people. As big as they are, they can still be brought down to the ground out of fear from the Al Mighty. من خشية الله They're there to make man understand that even though man thinks he's the king of his own world, he still is small and insignificant.

Atheism numbers today would shock the people who lived a thousand years before dinosaurs.

يا سبحان الله... تهدي من تشاء

ربنا بيحط غشاوة على الأبصار و الأسماع و القلوب

They have waterfalls and meadows. They've invented robodog… and still they doubt the one thing that matters.

اللهم احفظنا من الضلالة

The pyramids, the acropolis, the Yemeni ancient houses build inside mountains قوم عاد, the Mayan ruins, and more and more leftovers of civilizations that lived thousands of years from today. We look at them in awe, take a couple pictures, and get on a plane back home. Allah said in His book that those ruins will be left there to signify some truth, to make people who are still alive understand that there was once a civilization that disbelieved in God… and He sent for an earthquake, a flood, a rumbling, to punish them, to give them what they deserved and take away what they didn't. Examples, examples, and more.

In Egypt, we use the ancient ruins for tourist attraction. We serve wine and offer gambling opportunities nearby to add more to our country's GNP. اللهم احفظنا

Yeah well, I just thought I should share this one.

يهدي الله لنوره من يشاء.. ويضرب الله الأمثال للناس.. والله بكل شيء عليم

It's exactly like that… the Day of Judgment.

I mean ain't it true? Once you hear the words 'Day of Judgment' يوم القيامة, don't you just remember school? Doesn't it feel like a title to one of those poems you've managed to forget along the years, one of those biology chapters, one of those theorems they now have scientific calculators to solve in a matter of seconds?

We've forgotten what's important haven't we? We've managed to do everything that God has asked us not to do and forgot about the things that would make us immortal in Heaven.

Heaven!! Heaven has been described so many times in the Holy Quran.

تجري من تحتها الأنهار...… So many times that that's probably all one can remember if asked to describe it.

Last week, a friend of mine described a Depeche Mode concert by saying 'It felt like Heaven'. يا سبحان الله

Al donya is just too slippery, isn't it?

People also refer to many things as heaven. Drugs, sex, a music concert, wine…

اللهم نسألك الجنّة و نعوذ بك من النار

Now close your eyes for two minutes and picture that you've just died… right here and right now. I won't go into details of عذاب القبر (The torment of the grave), but picture that it has begun… Yawm El 7ashr, Yawm Al Qiyamah. Allah said in the Quran that He will change the Earth. Maybe Yawm el 7ashr will be when God flattens the earth; no plateaus, no oceans, no rivers, no mountains… just one clear and round planet… and we're all gonna be standing there next to each other.

Now think of an excuse for the things that you've done, for the things that you haven't. God said do this and don't do that… I, for one, am probably gonna be standing there, crying my eyes out, begging for forgiveness and mercy. You can't say I didn't know. You can't say that you're sorry. It's right there. It's everywhere. We're in 2007 and if you want to learn about Islam you can find out through books, the internet, or the nearest mosque of Islamic center. If you're not sure about a certain issue you can ask. The excuse that you didn't have time to look it up won't be valid then, will it?

Just try to picture it and you'll know what I'm getting at.

We tend to do certain things to move up in the world, or at least to delude ourselves that we are actually moving up. The many nights that we go to bed and remember the number of times we've lied today… the zillion times we've called it a white lie.

Is it really?!

We lie to escape a meeting and we lie to our parents to go out. We lie to get more money and we lie to do less work. We lie to avoid a friend and we lie to smoke and do drugs. We lie to get a date and possibly… just possibly… get laid.

The number of times we were asked 'Hey have you heared about XYZ?' and said yes when we actually haven't… because we didn't want to look like a fool.

When The Day comes, we might just feel like one.

Society demands things that we tend to forget are not necessarily right.

What if right there and then, on that day, we face another truth… what if we're told then that there are no white lies?

What are we going to do then? The number of sins we'll be carrying on our shoulders, on our Meezan.

Don't some of us pray, fast, and do their zakat, and think that they're doing just fine? For some people (we may be included), the catastrophe won't be the major sins (الكبائر)… it may be the minor sins (الصغائر)… the ones we do on a daily basis and actually believe are okay.

The number of times we've spoken about people behind their backs, the times we've made them look bad. Don't we all do that at work? Talk about a supervisor, a colleague? Call a certain someone on their office number and tell them about an incident that involved your manager and made him look like an idiot? The number of times we were glad we witnessed it just to have a story to TELL.

Surprise surprise… Ghayba (backbiting) and Nameema (gossip)… do they ring any bells?

Those may just be the things that throw some people in hell. اللهم احفظنا

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) once was walking with some of his companions when he stood in front of two graves and prayed for them. When asked why, he said that they're being tortured (عذاب القبر), and not for major sins. One is being tortured for not cleansing himself after urination, and the other for habitually spreading intimate or private rumors or facts (gossip - نميمة).

إنهما ليعذبان وما يعذبان في كبير أما أحدهما فكان لا يستبريء من البول وأما الآخر فكان يمشي بين الناس بالنميمة.

The things we do to get the acceptance of others.

Are they worthy of such a sacrifice?

ربنا ظلمنا أنفسنا و ان لم تغفر لنا و ترحمنا لنكوننّ من الخاسرين

Are you willing to trade God's forgiveness for the approval of your society?

اللهم لا تجعل الدنيا أكبر همّنا

و لا تجعل مصيبتنا في ديننا

آميــن